After reading about the County's street naming ordinance I started thinking about the power to name something. A rose by any other name may smell as sweet, but "any other name" would conjure up a different image.
So here we have the "Dakota County Rural Collaborative Local Water Management Plan." The name itself puts most people to sleep. (Do I really have to read it?)
Wouldn't it be nice if the title was less boring and convey something about what the Plan is about? Here's one possibility:
The "It's so Hard to Read Let's Just Pass it Without Any Discussion" Plan.
That's what almost happened last August. The plan was part of the public hearing where the Comprehensive Plan was also up for discussion. The Comprehensive Plan draft had been through a long and public vetting process, and the public hearing attracted many concerned citizens eager to give their views on it.
In contrast, the "It's so Hard to Read Let's Just Pass it Without Any Discussion" Plan had not received any kind of discussion or opportunities for public input. There was nobody at the public hearing who could address the questions that were raised about it. In attending subsequent meetings of the Planning Commission, I learned that no-one on the planning commission had read it.
And who can blame them? It's a horrible thing to try to get through.
For those brave and energetic souls who can get past the long and boring name, the mammoth size at 243 pages, together with the small print and liberal use of technical jargon and acronyms will generally cause the eyes to glaze over. Because I do not want that to happen to my dear readers, I will not provide any long quotes from the document.
The full text is available at the township's home page under "Rural Collaborative Water Plan"
There you can read all about glacial geomorphology, moraine areas, Des Moines Lobe till, surficial sediment, the obligatory sections on "Pre-Settlement Vegetation," "sensitive habitats and communities,""critical areas", and rare flora and fauna, along with many colorful maps showing us what the DNR sees when it looks at our land. You can also learn about "stress ranges for brown trout."
There's even a section titled "Human Environment." Unlike the sections covering plants and animals, however, there's no mention about stress ranges for humans or how this plan will affect landowners' blood pressure. But you can read about all of the ways in which humans pose a potential threat to the groundwater.
At some point I learned that the "It's so Hard to Read Let's Just Pass it Without Any Discussion" Plan contained the actual text of Vermillion River Watershed Joint Powers Organization's Water Management Plan, and that's why it contained references to every geographical area within the entire watershed, instead of being limited to our township. And that's why it contained so many goals, objectives and tasks that make no sense at all if applied to Eureka Township (e.g., "Continue to fund the Vermillion River Watch program," "Develop a management framework for water bodies, based on existing statutory classifications, desired uses, existing conditions, and the priorities of the VRWJPO")
There hasn't been any public discussion or consideration of any of this content to date.
After the August, 2008 public hearing, the sentiment was expressed at the next planning commission meeting that, considering the time and expense spent on the Plan, it was ridiculous that the planner who wrote it didn't bother explain it to anyone at the township.
Minutes from the following week's board meeting state that the planning commission needs more study of the Water Management Plan.
Fast forward to January, 2009. Dean Johnson, the planner who wrote the "It's So Hard to Read, Let's Just Pass it Without Any Discussion" Plan, held a meeting in Empire Township, inviting all of the rural townships to send representatives so that he could explain the upcoming ordinances that he was going to draft to implement the plan. I learned about the meeting and decided to attend so that I could ask the guy some questions.
The "You Don't Have to Understand it" Plan.
Mr. Johnson made it very clear that he didn't understand the technical aspects of the Plan. He told the assembled township officials that if anybody asked them about TMDL's or anything like that, just respond that they didn't have to understand it either. All the rural township officials have to know about the Plan, he explained, is that if they adopt it, they get to keep permitting authority, and if they don't adopt it, their landowners will have to go to the Vermillion River Watershed Joint Powers Organization for permitting. This would, he said, probably have the effect of costing the landowners more money to get permits, not to mention having to go before both the JPO and the township to get a permit.
Mr. Johnson was asked about whether there would be maps showing what land parcels would be subject to the requirements in his draft ordinance to implement the "You Don't Have to Understand It" Plan. He said that, due to the short deadlines for adopting the ordinance, the maps may not be ready before the deadline for adoption was up.
To confirm my understanding of what he had just said, I asked whether that meant that the town boards were expected to pass his ordinance without knowing what land it would apply to. He said yes.
Here's the handout addressing Mr. Johnson's thoughts on the "You Don't Have to Understand It" ordinance. More possible names later.
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